Secrets Post #915

[francinefrenski]

WARNINGS -> NSFW Sims image -> Fairies -> Enchanted by Nature -> Tragic Clown -> Paralives -> Gnomes

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“I am only contributing to the conversation with meme references”

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There were two unposted secrets this week, one was not Sims related, and the other was a gross porn gif.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I did. It turns out we were just in a rut. We did some therapy and tried A LOT of new things and within a month, I was back to normal (also my antidepressants and his started working). We learned a lot about ourselves, each other, and humanity in general and found it was just a longgg stretch of boredom and miscommunication on top of some fairly normal aging hurdles. I wasn't going to do any of this at first but I wasn't looking forward to living the rest of my life without him either (I didn't want him or ANYONE at the point I was at). It was this weird thing that I was so sad that I might be losing my very best friend but I just ~couldn't~ for whatever reason for awhile there. I eventually got the spark back and things went back to normal, or whatever that is for us, anyway. And I still maintain that even if we weren't married, he would still be my best friend. It also blows my mind how different two people can experience therapy.

I would never advocate for anyone to stay in a relationship where they are unhappy, but I also tell my story for the folks who aren't quite sure. I had a friend who left a great relationship - they literally had zero problems, just bored and getting old etc - and every guy she dated after was just the worst example of humanity created. She never found a "boring" relationship again and swears he was the one that she should've stayed with (he found someone else fairly quickly, got married, and they now have a kid at their big age and are RIDICULOUSLY happy) so I always keep her in mind when I start wondering where I am in my relationship. Every human gets bored, every human gets tired, every human gets fed up with that ONE THING they do that drives you insane yet they do it a million times. You have to decide if it's something you want to live with forever or communicate to your partner about changing and expressing your boundaries (or whatever it is) in a healthy way. If you can't, I absolutely would not waste another second time and set yourself and them free. It's not fair to either one of you, you because you are unhappy and can't understand why, your partner because they believe they are in a loving relationship and everything is fine as far as they know.

And, of course, not everyone is meant to be. If none of these things "fix" what is going on, then quite possibly it's time for both of you to move on.

Anyway, that's a lot of words for you simsecret hos, I honestly do hope it works out for you!

[(Anonymous)]

>they now have a kid at their big age

Bet you these ppl are 26

[(Anonymous)]

nope 42

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you, I really appreciate this reply. I am definitely not going to run out and break up, but I just feel really eehhhh about it. This was my first love and my first relationship, and it took a LONG time for me to stop having starry eyes, and now I feel like, is this really what I want? If I hadn't been so naive, inexperienced, and lonely in the beginning, would this relationship ever have gotten off the ground? But at the same time I can't imagine living without him. I think maybe I just need more time to myself, but I don't know how to ask for that without feeling guilty for hurting him. I haven't talked to him about any of this and I know he would be completely blindsided if I brought it up, and that makes me feel guilty. For almost the entire time, I've been the one who is more devoted and invested and I'm not sure how he would take it if I were like, I just need some space.

[(Anonymous)]

You are most welcome. It's actually a fairly common thing in long term relationships and a hurdle that absolutely can be overcome through communication. I know exactly what you mean about getting into a relationship young and thinking "Is this what I really want when I didn't even know what I did or did not want?" That's almost exactly what I went through as well. I'm hoping all good things for you guys!