I feel like an awful person for saying this but, I don't want my bridesmaid's autistic son to come to my wedding because I'm panicking that he's going to ruin what is meant to be my special day.

I am getting married this summer and have been working so hard to ensure that the day is absolutely perfect. My fiancé and I decided pretty early on that we didn't want kids at our wedding, but we've made a few concessions for close family members whose children are going to be a part of the ceremony.

But now my close friend is insisting that because she can't find anyone to look after him and he hates it when she leaves him with other people.

I understand that it's really difficult for her, but I also know that her son tends to cause such a scene whenever he's at big events. Because of his condition he gets overwhelmed, he screams, he acts out and I just don't want that during my wedding!

I feel like she's had ample time to find someone to look after him and it seems like she just assumed I would bend to her wishes so she didn't bother to sort out childcare – and that doesn't feel like it should be my problem?

I told her in the nicest way possible that we just can't accommodate him and she's now threatening not to come to the wedding at all. She says I'm being selfish – but surely she's the selfish one here? She knows how much this day means to me and how much I want her there when I get married.